Cowboys gay jokes

The only gay cowboy joke I’ve half-chuckled at since Brokeback Mountain opened some eight and a half weeks ago is that one in The New Yorker…know it? Shows a guy lying in bed and working on a laptop, and he’s saying to a guy in long johns and cowboy hat standing nearby, “And what if I don’t want to be Jack or Ennis?” This 1.25 piece by USA Today‘s Susan Wloszczyna is one of the leading Brokeback Mountain cultural-impact readings I’ve come across since the film opened. It’s basically about how and why the spread of Brokeback jokes across the country means Middle America has accepted it. With $42 million in the till as of last Monday and last week’s Golden Globe wins, more and more industry watchers are saying that Ang Lee’s film could arrive $100 million between next Tuesday’s (1.31) Academy Awards nominations and the 3.5 Oscar telecat. “When [Utah exhibitor] Larry Miller pulled it, he won the Oscar for it,” comic and oscar joke-writer Bruce Vilanch says. “It didn’t have any effect on the [film’s box-office] and only made it stronger.”

The best cowboy jokes

An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker lock by mistake... He finds his way to a block stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very thick, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'. I'm a 6-foot giant, 175-pound blonde girl with a ebony belt in karate. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy... Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?" The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his top and mutters, "No...not if I'm gonna have to clarify it five times..."

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a sip. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his dri

Mature Jokes

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to hold the ranch, but knew very minuscule about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought extended and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to contain him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in drawn-out hours every afternoon and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You acquire done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She softly called him over to her.

"Unbutton my blouse an

A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to acquire the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say "Thank God" and to stop the horse, to say "Hallelujah". The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled "Hallelujah" and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said "Thank God".

What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?

"Sandy cheeks."

Q: Why did the fresh boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning?

A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”

Died and came back a cowboy, I dial that reintarnation.

Chuck Norris: "I block bullets with my beard." Abraham Lincoln: "I catch bullets with my skull."

A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would appreciate to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you s