Gay sex tips

The ins and outs of safer, greater sex.

I’m scared of bottoming

Most gay men will consider bottoming at some time. However, the thought of doing it for the first second can be scary. Don’t let that put you off. 

You may prefer to douche before bottoming, especially if indulging in deep arse play like fisting or with huge dicks/toys. Use plain, clean water, preferably at body temperature. Avoid using shower attachments - the water pressure can be dangerous. You can get douche bulbs online or from any wonderful sex shop. Strive not to proceed overboard and irritate the lining of your arse, as this can build you more vulnerable to STIs.

Get yourself relaxed with lots of foreplay appreciate rimming or fingering. Some men undertake use amyl nitrate (poppers) to calm down the muscles around their arse but there are two major health warnings. Poppers:

  • have been linked with an increased risk of HIV transmission 
  • don’t mix with erection drugs appreciate Viagra and may cause a heart attack.

Deep breathing is far safer, helps you to loosen and relaxes the arse too.

Find a position that suits the size, angle and curvature of your partner’s dick. Any position where your knees are bent and drawn into your chest, w

Ever wanted to realize the secrets to becoming a control bottom? Want to know how to look after the bottoms in your life? Curious to give bottoming a try but not sure how to begin?

We can aide you become a better bottom! Here are some swift bottoming tips and tricks from ACON’s peer-workshop Booty Basics.

1. Lube

The arse does not produce its own lubrication.

This means that lube is really, really vital for any anal play. First, to stop damage to the internal lining of your arse. Second, to produce bottoming (and topping!) more pleasurable. And third, to support protect it from infections.

Remember to employ water or silicon-based lubes, as oil-based lubes can harm condoms.

2. You

The second principle is YOU. This is the one that covers off all the mental and sentimental aspects such as making sure you feel safe, making sure there is consent, that you feel comfortable, that you know your own bottoming limits and desires.

Remember, sex is best for everyone if all the people emotionally attached are motivated by trying to maximise everyone’s pleasure safely. You can’t be a good companion and you can’t experience pleasure for yourself if you’re stressed or uncomfortable (bottom or not!).

3. R

The “how to” of sex positions is imperative for any partnership. Mastering different gay sex positions not only heightens the life but also provides a deeper connection with your partner both literally and figuratively. But before we start, if you’ve ever wondered, “What’s a top or bottom?” Don’t worry. These terms might be common within the LGBTQ+ community, but not everyday vernacular for everyone else, which is why we’ve put together an ever-growing list of Gay terminology.

At Bespoke Surgical, we ponder about sex in completely unlike ways and by bringing science into sex, a new era of understanding will allow improvement for everyone. Regardless of which gay anal sex positions you explore, it’s important to comprehend their differences:

  • Affect the top and the bottom in different ways
  • Bring out both submissive or offensive characteristics of each person
  • Require an understanding of both everyone’s positioning (height, penis curvature, and pelvic angle)

Little nuances and adjustments can make all the difference in terms of pleasure vs. pain, as does open and straightforward communication. It’s key

Tips for Healthy Queer Sex

Sex is full of risks, and some sex acts are more risky than others. We’ll show you how you can lessen your risks for contracting HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) while enjoying a healthy sex life.

Anal Sex

Whether you’re topping or bottoming, anal sex is a high-risk task for contracting HIV and other STIs. Here are tips to ensure you’re having safe, and entertaining, anal sex:

  • Use condoms. When used effectively, latex or polyisoprene condoms are the best way to hinder the spread of HIV and other STIs. Shun oil-based lubricants and only wear one condom at a time to block them from tearing. Be sure to check the expiration date on your condom – don’t exploit an expired condom!
  • Use plenty of lube, perhaps more than you think. Lube prevents tears from occurring on the head of your penis or the inside of your rectum.
  • Pull out. We don’t endorse barebacking (having anal sex without a condom), but if you find yourself having sex without a condom, pulling out can reduce the risk of exposure to HIV for the bottoming partner.
  • Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis or PrEP is a vital tool in the HIV prevention toolbox. PrEP is a once-a-day pill