Cottaging for gays
Cruising
This blog was written by our Sexual Health Outreach Worker, Chris Dunbar.
Sometimes, having sex in the sound confines of your bedroom just doesn’t cut it. You may be looking for somewhere new, looking for thrill or adventure, or just not be proficient to have the sex you want within your four walls. You may have heard someone communicate about cruising, or hold been asked if you want to go, but what does it actually mean?
Let’s have a see together at what it means, the laws, and general safety if you do decide to present it a go.
Definition
Cruising is walking or driving about certain areas, called cruising grounds, looking for a sexual partner. These meetings are usually one-off, anonymous encounters.
Cottaging is a legal title used to describe anonymous sex meetings in general toilets.
Where do the terms come from?
Cruising: The pos originated as a same-sex attracted slang term, sometime in the early 1960s, as a way for people who knew its definition to arrange sexual meetings. It was a way to plan sexual encounters without attracting the attention of people who may wish to report them to the authorities, or inflict harm. The word is used many countries including the UK, the U
This is what cottaging really is
Tales of cottaging and cruising have regularly featured in (and been sensationalised by) the tabloid media, but what really is cottaging? And are people still doing it today?
In 1998, George Michael released a tongue-in-cheek, brilliantly camp video for ‘Outside’. “Yes, I’ve been bad,” he sings, thrusting his hips while dressed as a same-sex attracted police officer surrounded by similarly-uniformed porn stars (phallic baton, of course, included). Not only is it a perform of audiovisual genius, it’s also a piece of brilliant political satire.
Earlier that year, Michael was arrested, outed and publicly shamed after being caught cottaging by a policeman in a Los Angeles toilet. Salacious headlines ensued, marking the first hour many readers had heard of the common gay cruising practice, which has hardly been heard of since.
What is cottaging?
Cottaging is a specific form of gay cruising which exclusively takes place in public toilets. Sometimes, glory holes are drilled into cubicle walls, but not always. It’s a practice with a rich American history as adv, where these lusty loos are referred to as ‘tearooms’ – interestingly, though, the name is oft
Cottaging & Cruising: Legal Penalties
What is the history of cottaging?
In the mid 20th Century, those who partook in cottaging didn’t do so out of fantasy or fetish.
Cottaging was the only way that male lover men could encounter other gay men, hidden away from the government. Furthermore, the concept of being “out” wasn’t normalised yet, and so a surreptitious culture of common sex began across the country.
The government would dispatch units of police officers to inspect common toilets and parks in a invite to “rid England of this plague”, with undercover police often arresting cottagers for indecent assault. Whatsmore, it’s estimated that during the 1950’s approximately 1,000 men were imprisoned every year for cottaging and “lewd” behaviour.
Is cottaging still popular today?
Cottaging is becoming less accepted as gay rights progress further.
The secret side of queer relationships we witnessed in the past now welcomes modern LGBT family models, marriages and parenting styles. Despite the dwindling numbers, cruising grounds and cottaging spaces can still be located in most cities, if you grasp where to look!
Cottaging
Cottaging is slang for having sex in public toilets, and locations include bus stations, railway stations, motorway stations and airports. Cottaging are usually one-off, anonymous encounters.
For some gay men, cottaging is about the excitement and rush of hooking up with a stranger. Way before Grindr and Gaydar, searching for speedy sex with a stranger was a creative and skilled pursuit and remains so today. For other men, it’s a way to express themselves sexually if they are closeted or don’t describe themselves as gay or gay. Some men remain in the closet, an issue complicated for those married, from ethnic minority communities, of some faiths and religions, and those from countries where being gay remains taboo. Cruising is not for everyone and carries stigma and shame for some.
The term "cottaging" originates from self-contained toilet blocks resembling small cottages in Victorian times. It was embraced by male lover men speaking Polari in the 1960s, a secret language before homosexuality was partially decriminalised in 1967. It allowed them to speak openly and identify themselves as gay. Unless you were in the know, you would only partially understand what was b