Straight guys act gay
Why do some unbent men have sex with other men?
According to nationally-representative surveys in the Together States, hundreds of thousands of straight-identified men have had sex with other men.
In the novel book Still Straight: Sexual Flexibility among White Men in Rural America released today, UBC sociologist Dr. Tony Silva argues that these men – many of whom like hunting, fishing and shooting guns – are not closeted, bisexual or just experimenting.
After interviewing 60 of these men over three years, Dr. Silva create that they adore a range of relationships with other men, from hookups to sexual friendships to secretive loving partnerships, all while strongly identifying with straight culture.
We spoke with Dr. Silva about his book.
Why do straight-identified men have sex with other men?
The majority of the men I interviewed reported that they are primarily attracted to women, not men. Most of these men are also married to women and prefer to have sex with women. They explained that although they loved their wives, their marital sex lives were not as active as they wanted. Sex with men allowed them to hold more sex. They don’t consider sex with men cheating and s
For a long time, friendships between gay men and straight men – what some now notify “bromosexual” friendships – were uncommon. Homophobia was likely one reason; another was that straight men probably assumed they didn’t own much in common with lgbtq+ men.
But lately, “bromosexual” friendships have started to receive more attention, acceptance and interest. They’re being explored and depicted in movies, books and blogs. In October, The New York Times even devoted an article in their Style section to “The Rise of the ‘Bromosexual’ Friendship.”
This sort of normalization is excellent news. But social scientists still haven’t studied the dynamics of these friendships: why they expand and how they’re maintained.
We’re part of a team of community, evolutionary and social psychologists that has recently begun a research program with the aim of studying this very topic. Specifically, we’re interested in looking at the reasons gay men and straight men become friends (or remain friends after the gay friend comes out). We currently have a survey enquiry underway that explores some of the positive outcomes of “bromosexual” friendships, including our theory that gay men and straight men
Main Article Content
Abstract
Last October, homosexual magazine Out ran a spotlight on Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe, who had recently written a scathing letter to politician Emmett Burns criticizing him for his anti-gay platform. According to Out, Kluwe’s letter was published on the popular sports website Deadspin and has since gone viral, sparking tremendous controversy and debate in the worlds of sports and politics, as adequately as in general news outlets. Kluwe’s advocacy of gay rights was clearly unusual, otherwise it would not have garnered the public attention that it did. A gesture of support for gay rights is not itself newsworthy, at least not in this day and age; what made this one unusual was the evidence that it came from an NFL athlete. The NFL has traditionally not been particularly hospitable to the gay rights movement, possibly because professional sports leagues have always been seen to be bastions of heterosexual masculinity. As a straight man, I’ve noticed that my fellow straight men seem to be an underrepresented demographic in the American political arena for gay rights. Even more underrepresented are pro athletes, who are culturally perceived to be in th
Contrary to local folklore, I harbor no homosexual desires. However, almost all of my male friends (and about half of my male relatives) are homosexual. Due to the fact that I'm, shall we exclaim, definitely into my feminine side, some gay men simply assume that I, too, am a member of their royal family; others, who have a keen sense of gaydar, know immediately that I'm pathetically straight.
Subscribing to the belief that the only difference between a straight dude and a same-sex attracted guy is a six-pack of beer, the gay men who think I'm "a member" own come to receive what some relate to to as my "illusion of firm heterosexual desires." At least, they stopped making passes. It must be tough on 'em. I'm so damn devilishly handsome.
I attribute my sexual ambiguity to the fact that no male role models existed when I was a child. Raised in an exclusively female household, I grew up terrified of men. Now, I'm afraid of women, but I digress. And yes, I'm in therapy. Permanently.
During my preschool years, Mom, who had wanted a lady she planned to name Stevie Sue, thought I looked cute in lipstick and Grandma loved painting my nails bright red. Ignore G.I. Joe, I was too hectic stumbling around in high heels